Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain by Portia de RossiMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Wow! What a touching and honest memoir.
Of course I knew/know who Ellen DeGeneres is and I have heard of Portia De Rossi-even that the two of them were together, but I never really 'knew' Portia. Couldn't even remember what she looked like and of course knew nothing about her life.
So the first time I learned anything about her was when I was watching clips of Ellen's show on You Tube and Portia was on there as a guest. First thing I noticed was how pretty she was, then the love between her and Ellen was beautiful! Just from those few moments everyone could see that. After that I learned that Portia had an eating disorder (used to have) and that she had written a book about it. Now I definitely had to read that. This woman intrigued me-rather, her and Ellen intrigued me, but I still wanted to hear her story. So I got the book from my library....and...
This book is so intense, raw, real, honest, heartbreaking, and heart-lifting. I think it had more of an impact on me because Portia actually wrote this herself. These were all her actual words. She did not hire a ghost writer to put her story together.
She talks about her life trying to fit in and trying to be someone that, her mom especially, will be proud of. From the age of 12, Portia began modeling and thus truly began her affair with food and her weight.
I learned so much from this book. Eating disorders are not simple cut and dried things. They are so complex and there are so many other aspects involved. They are not just about wanting to be thin. They are about wanting to be in control of something in your life, about acceptance, insecurities, fear, etc. And even though I knew a lot of that, Portia wrote this story in a way that I felt it along with her.
The things that she did and the reactions from people that she encountered in her life were sometimes surprising but a lot of the times not. What surprised me even more was Portia's reactions to people when they shown concern to/about her. And once again, she made me understand why she reacted that way.
The second part of this book is when it really started to get intense and the epilogue made me cry.
I am so sorry that Portia went through everything that she went through. But I am so happy that she is know better and happy! And that Ellen is there for her. There love is extrraordinary!
Which brings me to the part of Portia's sexuality. Even though she felt she had to hide her sexuality because of her career, and unfortunately at that time she probably did, this book mostly focused on her eating disorder. She does address her sexuality in this book and about her fear of opening, but I felt it took a back seat to the disorder.
I recommend this book to everyone.
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